Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Help Wanted...

Ok, so I get the fun task of weeding through bunches of resumes to see who would make a good candidate for the job opening offered by our company. Let me offer a few suggestions...

1) If you are REALLY trying to get a job you might try using a font larger than 5pt when you have to FAX the resume to our office.

2) If you have been a supervisor in every job you've ever had I'm not sure you are gonna wanna be the b*tch! (This is a LOW-END, entry level position)

3) I know it's an entry level position but when your "Objective" is seeking a position in restaurant management, I'm not sure how applying here (not even CLOSE to anything having to do with a restaurant) is gonna help you.

4) Being able to drive a truck or selling clothing at a retail store does NOT qualify you for this job. Again I know it's entry level but really ... the "experience a plus" part of the ad might be a clue.

5) When you've sent a resume before you might wanna make sure that they say the same things ... you can't have 5 years experience and then 6 months later have 14 years experience. We aren't buying it!

6) Oh, and from past experience trying to hire folks, if you know you are prone to partaking of certain illegal substances, you might not want to bother sending a resume to a "Mandatory-Testing-Before-Hire" company!

7) I know work is hard to find sometimes and I know you have to take what you can get many times regardless of whether you like it or not, BUT, trust me on this, changing jobs every 8 months for the last 10 years does not get you bonus points.

8) And one last thing ... someone should check over your spelling and word usage, preferably someone who is good at it. Because ...

a) You have NEVER had responsipilities (unless of course you were a Pharmacist in which case I guess you could have had responsiPILLities)

b) Exploiting yourself is probably not a good employment objective.

c) If you were as conscientious about your spelling as you claim to be about your work you might have avoided spelling the word concienious.

Well, that's enough for now, with interviews coming up soon I may have a lot more hints later. We always get some real classics.

Remember: Never take the drug test doped up, really, you won't pass, it shouldn't be a surprise and why the heck would you waste your time?

Happy Valentine's Day everyone !!!
Pushed by Pusher Robot at 2:19 PM

See what Blogger Chelle had to say about the experience!
See what Blogger cinders had to say about the experience!
See what Blogger juicya had to say about the experience!
See what Blogger Pusher Robot had to say about the experience!
links to this post

4 Terrible Secrets of Space:

Blogger Chelle revealed...

LOL It's hard to believe that that stuff is true.....though I'm positive resumes that bad are sent ALL the time.

Now, I have to get back to my exploiting respinsipilities hehe....

6:19 PM  
Blogger cinders revealed...

*giggle* thanks for the laugh!

11:29 AM  
Blogger juicya revealed...

my fave tip is do not send a pic of yourself [unless its for a modelling job or something] I once got one of this dude dressed in his army uniform. For a street sweeping job. Golly.

2:42 PM  
Blogger Pusher Robot revealed...

chelle - unfortunately these are all taken from resumes i'm CURRENTLY looking at. except the drug reference one which was last go-round.

cinders - just trying to help :)

juicya - that one i haven't seen yet.

3:43 PM  

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