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Tuesday, April 15, 2008

All Things Asian ...

Today is gonna be Asian day! I first want to say I love all things Asian. I love the cultures, I love the languages and I love watching Asian movies & anime. I have even gone as far as to try and learn some Japanese so that when I watch those movies maybe I can understand more words than just "hello", "yes" and "thank you". I NEVER watch foreign movies dubbed. With that having been said I also get a kick out of the language when it gets translated to English. If you haven't noticed I have way too many posts from www.engrish.com on this blog ... there's a reason for that.

The other day we went to an Asian Buffet for dinner. That is one of my most favorite places to eat and it's always a hoot or ... perhaps ... h00t (for those of you 1337 enough to be here).

er...anyway...moving on.

First there were the two food labels I got a kick out of. One sounds like it should be an item in the game Kingdom of Loathing. What is it you ask? CHICKEN MEAT BOWL. It's the only dinnerware I can think of that would make you deathly ill if you left it on the counter overnight.

The second food label was FRENCH FIRES. Jean Claude says, "Only you can prevent French fires!"

At the end of dinner there is always the traditional fortune cookie smashing. It's even funnier now since my teenager and her nearly teenage sister know the "implied ending". However, mine was funny all by itself. It read: Simplicity and clarity should be your theme in dress.
I know, it doesn't really seem all that funny now, but really, I think they put something in the happy pork. My response to this fortune went something like this ... "So are they saying I should wear a simple and clear dress? like made out of Saran wrap? What about my underpants? I couldn't wear clear underpants! What would the people at work say? And I'd have to wear a bra! Otherwise people could see my nipples!" (It was at this point that my wife stood up out of her chair and announced that she felt it was probably time to go!) She was probably right!

And finally, (I know...you don't have to say it...), my wife brought home a mouse. I don't mean a squeak-squeak kind (she'd have never come close to one of those) I mean the pointing device for your computer or computer-like desk accessory. It is kind of cool although totally NOT ergonomic as you can palm the thing like a cheap magician! But, I'm in a house full of girls and it is CUTE! Okay, so where was I??? Oh yeah ... the instructions. I'll spare you the WHOLE instruction sheet and pull some good bits out just for you! Here are some of the sections and some instructions from those sections.

Steps of Installing Battery:
1) Prepare 2 pcs of AAA type battery
Dag blast it! I have to MAKE my own pieces of AAA battery???

Attention Please:
2) The batteries can work longer if using on the white surface.
Caution:
Any changes or modifications are not expressly approved by the party, (which party?) which is responsible for compliance that could void the user's authority to operate the equipment. (my wife is perfectly capable of voiding my authority!)

Finally, finally ... probably the best one in the bunch ... comes from the opening statement titled "Welcome"

You can use your wireless optical mouse freely for improving your efficiency and enjoy your beautiful life from the high technology!

Kind of speaks for itself doesn't it?

Does this look familiar? Do you know what it is? Neither do I. I made it last night in my sleep. Apparently I used Gindrogac. Highly unstable. I put a button on it. Yes. I wish to press it, but I'm not sure what will happen if I do. -Gune-

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