And...we're back...

Just got back from our "vacation". Okay, so it wasn't exactly ALL vacation. We went to Savannah, Georgia so my daughter could play softball in the World Series there. When she wasn't playing ball though, we were tourists!

Let me just say, I LOVE Savannah and Tybee Island!!! We hung out in the ocean, saw old houses, saw military aircraft (both on the ground and in the air). 8th Air Force Museum in nearby Pooler was AWESOME!

I have to say that one of the highlights wasn't the typical tourist things. Don't get me wrong, the lighthouse on Tybee, Juliet Gordon Low's birthplace, the 8th AF museum, The Crab Shack, the Ghosts and Legends tour and all the other tidbits were awesome, but one of the best evenings was spent in Gayna's Pub! If you ever get out to the island you have to stop in!

We made a detour on the trip home and spent the day we were supposed to be traveling in the Great Smoky Mountain National Park instead (with a short visit to Cherokee, NC)

The ball team may have lost (they played awesome though) but the family won on this vacation!

It's possible that while driving home very late at night I may have giggled out loud at this attraction in Kentucky.

I Don't Think We're In Kansas Anymore!

The events of the last two weeks have been an absolute whirlwind. Ha! Whirlwind! Tornado! Kansas! er ... yeah ... sorry! Just amusing myself ... NOT LIKE THAT!!! Come on now you freaks! Give it a rest!

So last week I flew to Kansas City ... Missouri. I know! Who knew? I didn't realize that Kansas City had a multiple personality disorder.

I have to admit they are quite blunt in Kansas / Missouri (my apologies for not knowing WHICH state I was in at the time. The border between these two states is ridiculous. You can travel on a single highway and pass from state to state repeatedly.)

Sign at the state line reads. NOW LEAVING KANSAS. COME BACK.
Trust me, I'm gonna be on this highway for a while. I'll be back.

Here in Ohio we have constructions signs that are quite boring. They simply say something to the effect of "Speeding Fines doubled in construction area" ... blah, blah, blah.

Pennsylvania (I believe) has cute signs that look like they are written in crayon that say something to the effect of "be careful, my daddy works here".

The signs I saw there no my trip REALLY caught my attention. They were construction orange with black lettering and read ...

KILL A WORKER!

Really! I'm getting permission here? They must have a high road construction worker turnover. Plus, how does anything get done ... oh...wait. UNDER the very visible ORANGE sign ... is a smaller less-stand-outish white sign that says "$10,000 and loss of license" or some such thing.

So what you are saying is. If my house gets sucked up into a tornado with me and my dog inside and I get flung into Kansas and land on a wicked witch BUT she happens to be wearing a safety vest and in a construction zone I'm screwed!?

The rest of the crazy week panned out like this.

Spent 2 days in Kansas, girls had softball all week, plus it is the week before our fair and they are both in 4H. Completed 4H stuff on the weekend. This week they have been at the fair all week winning an assortment of pretty colored ribbons. Only 1 blue one so far, but placing nonetheless. It's all good.

The month from hell is nearly over. Whew!

Up With Stupid! Part 2

So they are working on part of the freeway. Normally it looks like this ...



Apparently they are working on this bridge.
What they did was close the "exit" part of the ramps on both sides and ran two lanes of traffic down one ramp and back UP the other ramp. There are signs posted EVERYWHERE that say "MAINTAIN PRESENT LANE" and "ALL LANES THRU". I've tried to help you with what this looks like with a picture. Keep in mind, they re-lined the road so TWO lanes of traffic take the "ramp" and ONE lane moves straight through. They ALL end up on the other side of the bridge in the same place though. No worries.

Red and green arrows indicate traffic direction, BLUE lines indicate barricades and the purple circles indicate where all heck broke loose! (You can click on that sucker to see a larger view).



The problem? NOBODY CAN READ! Everyone in the right two lanes saw they were going down the EXIT ramp and panicked. Instead of paying attention to the two million signs that essentially said "Don't Panic". They lost their minds (probably too many cell phones glued to their heads). Saw they were going down the ramp and tried to all squeeze into the left lane. What this accomplished was stand still traffic, a billion cars in the left lane, me shaking my head and left me as ONE of three cars flying down the ramp and shooting well ahead of them because they were far too stupid or too busy talking to their honey to notice all the signs, including the giant electronic sign, that said to stay put and all would be fine!

Drat!

They sure know how to take all the fun out of something!

It's All About How You Say It.

The other day as we were all sitting around the dinner table part of the conversation led to tools and someone mentioned that that was a man thing (implying that men + tools = happy man). I said "yeah, man-tools" then after a short pause... "I have ALL the man-tools I need". The conversation went on it's merry way ... then it clicked with my 11 year old daughter who snapped her head up from her homework with a resounding "EWWWWWWWW!"
I LOVE the children being this age!

Along Those Same Lines

Short and Sweet

Shopping Made Easy

If they had these in malls around here, going shopping with the wife might not be such a horrible experience.

Searching ...

Well I was wondering what I was going to post about today. I haven't been around in such a long time. Then I read one of my favorite blogs and well the only thing I could think about was vomiting and kind of put a damper on the whole thought process. Thanks a lot Chickie!!!
So in order to cleanse my brainstem I went to see what things I had missed on Engrish and found this ... how fitting after reading Chickie's blog!

Wax included?

I'm just gonna leave this one as is ... if you can't see what's funny here , good for you. If you DO see what's funny, welcome to the gutter!

Where The Old People Are.

There are two signs on my way home which always strike me as funny. I apologize that I don't have a picture of it but a cell phone camera at 55mph doesn't really take great pics. I'll try and describe it as best as possible.
The sign on the top of the post is a brown sign with white lettering that says:

<--- HISTORIC TOWNNAME

(obviously I've removed the actual town name to protect the not-so-innocent)
Immediately below that is a green sign which reads:

<--- SENIOR CENTER

Coincidence?

My Head A'Splode!!!

Let's kick things off with a fine graphic from Engrish.com

If only Moses had been in Taiwan

Engrish fun

Yeah baby!

Wha?

Next in line to the throne?

Say what?

Once a week on my way home I read the sign on the outside of the strip club that I pass. I read it to see what "special" day they are having on Friday. They do theme nights or celebrate someones birthday.

Yesterday as I drove past I glanced at the sign.
It read...

CASUAL FRIDAY
THIS FRIDAY

What exactly is CASUAL friday at a strip club?

---------------------------------------------------------

Why is it that Lunesta commercials have to tell you not to drive or operate heavy machinery if you take it? Shouldn't you be in bed?

--------------------------------------------------------
Being as it is cold / flu season ... this seems the perfect remedy: