Oddest Warranty Return

So I didn't shop at Jared. However, the Xmas gift I got my wife still put a smile on her face.

Since I know you are all asking, "Pusher, what fantastic gift did you get your wife that made her smile so?"

Let me tell you! I got her THIS (NSFW - for the love of all that is good, don't click this link with your boss standing right there ... PLEASE ... I beg of you!)

I freakin' told you! What were you thinking! Jeez!

So I get this thing and get it home. Get it wrapped and put it under the tree so she can open it ... YEAH RIGHT! She did not get this gift to open in front of the children and her mother! What kind of fool do you take me for!?

So anyway ... some days go by and we finally get a chance to try out her new "toy". Guess what? Dang how'd you know! The freakin' "Turbo pearls" don't ... well ... turbo.
Not only do they not turbo ... they don't even turtle, crawl, quiver ... nothing ... they don't budge! Dang it! Okay, it has a warranty card which I can fill out online and then return it.

This bad boy is in a package large enough I have to take it to the post office ... god I hope he doesn't recognize the name of the company! (The company name that it gets sent to is NOT California Exotics, just for the record). What's that? Do I want to insure it? Um ... do I have to tell you what it is? No? Sure I'll insure it. Whew! Close one!

Yeah, just a little awkward ... but ... $20 extra (shipping and insurance and RETURN shipping costs) it's back ... well NOT the same one ... but a NEW one just like it ... and the pearls ... oh yeah , they turbo!

Are We Insane?

Okay, before everyone hits the comment section without reading the rest of this, don't answer that!

When we signed up our little girl (11) to be on a traveling softball team it seemed like such a good idea at the time. I know this is going to seem like a "yeah but you're her dad so you're gonna say that" moment, but, she really is an amazing player. She holds a grasp of the game that amazes us. Apparently, we used to have a quite athletic mailman! (I'll pause for a second to let that one sink in.)

I'm not displeased with the way things have gone. She's learned a lot and to be honest we've gotten a LOT for the money we had to pay at the beginning. 3 uniforms, bat bag, helmet, cleats and entry into a bunch of tournaments.

However, we are also in a "league". This league plays on Tuesdays and Thursdays and the coach plans on using these games as "practice" for the tournaments on the weekends. Again this is all fine, (besides the fact that only Monday and Wednesday most weeks she doesn't play -- yeah 5 out of 7 days are softball) except that the team s we play are not exactly CLOSE to home. The team we play tonight is an hour and half drive from my house. She has to be there by 5:30p. This means my wife, GOD BLESS HER, will be leaving work at 3pm to run home, get my daughters, turn around and drive again for 1.5 hours where we'll watch softball from 6pm until 9pm (yes it's a double-header) then drive again 1.5 hours home. If you have the simple math skills you know what this means ... if you don't I'll spell it out. We would get home at 10:30pm tonight. Assuming we actually stop somewhere to EAT ... later than that. Let's hope they have no school work. Oh yes, still in school ... so going to get home 10:30pm or later on a SCHOOL NIGHT !!!! Probably a good thing there are only two days left of school.

Okay, go ahead ... answer the question now ... not that I don't know what the answer is!!!

Don't Forget The Important Part ...

My fortune cookie from the other day:

Lucky numbers: 2, 4 ... er ... no not that part. This part ...

You are offered the dream of a lifetime. Say yes!

Let's not forget the implied ending! I'm not sure the wife was thrilled!

You May Have Underestimated Her

Based on the phone message on our answering machine, the employees (specifically a certain manager) of the previously mentioned Skyline Chili, may have underestimated my wife. Having called the head office of the restaurant to complain about the treatment we had received, my wife ended up with a return call on the answering machine. It was quite long but I'll sum it up for you.

Sorry you had a bad experience. I will be in the area and will have a meeting with the management at that store. We will send you a gift card. If at any time you have any more trouble feel free to call me.

That is basically the summary of the extensive phone message. We did receive a second call from the admin. assistant of the person who called before to make sure we got the message and to verify where to send the gift card to. She was told that we don't really NEED a gift card, that we WILL remain customers but they insisted so we are waiting for that to come in the mail. Why am I telling you all this ... oh yeah ... the person who left the message? Get this ... the VICE-PRESIDENT of the company. Oh yeah, almost forgot .... the phone number she left us to call her at if we ever had trouble again ... the home office number? heck no ... HER CELL PHONE.

I so want to program the vice-presidents cell number in my phone, walk into the restaurant again, and at the sign of any trouble ... "Do I need to get the VP of your company on the phone? She's right here in the speed dial!" I wonder if that would get better service ... er ... maybe just more spit in my food?

Drive-thru customers are more important

Is it just me or has the fact that fast food restaurants put such a heavy weight on the amount of time a car spends in a drive-thru as a metric for determining how good their restaurant is that they've totally neglected the fact that customers inside are exactly that ... customers?!

This has become evident to me on numerous occasions ... but last night was TOTALLY obvious. We were at Skyline Chili and we had a problem. The problem was the heaping pile of fries pictured in the menu vs. the 7 fries that came in a little bowl, for which they expected us to pay $4.19

The request to see the manager was not mean and the waitress explained she would get her. We assumed that "she'll be right over" meant you know ... maybe ... she'll be right over. She never came. As we are getting near the end of our meals and getting ready to go my wife goes over to the manager instead.

It's at this point the manager explained rather rudely that she couldn't come over to see US because she was quite busy working the drive-thru. (There were 4 other employees working in the store and they were NOT busy). Apparently, paying customers eating IN the building don't matter.

Big Mac Attack

Here's the scene. In my hand I hold a coupon. I know, I know, a man with a coupon...already this story doesn't sound plausible. Just for the record the wife and kids were with me too. Wife = coupon book. So, really, I have a coupon. It says FREE Big Mac with the purchase of an Extra Value Meal.

I hand the coupon to the cashier and tell her I'd like a #1 (Big Mac Extra Value Meal).

Cashier (reads the coupon): You have to order an extra value meal.

Me (didn't I just?): Yes, a #1.

Cashier: And you want another Big Mac?

Me (isn't that what the coupon says?): Um, yeah.

Is it just me or does McDonald's need to stop making their coupons so complicated?